I'm back!

Blogger! It's been a long time my friend. Lots of catching up to do. Ughhhh

Stay tuned loves.

Hugs and Kisses,

Dee

The Perks of being a Wallflower.

You see things

You keep quiet about them

and you understand

I don't like it, I LOVE it! I know lots of teens out there can relate to this book. The words used are pretty much understandable; not so difficult, but some though. A story about a boy named Charlie who's writing to an anonymous person (like a diary, whatsoever) he's kind of a nobody, then having friends, realizing how happy he was with them. Falling in love (was expected of course!) Someone fell in love with him for a short period of time but he was too naive and too in love with his best girl friend. (yes, GIRL friend not GIRLFRIEND) who was in love with somebody else. The thing is, this book is more about teenage issues, depression to peer pressure, being bully, highschool life or maybe drama, LOVE. The book is giving us readers a message that we should be nice to someone 'coz we don't know what they're going through, be friendly to someone even though you don't really care 'bout that person, cheer someone up, spread good vibes, be thankful to your friends and admirers considering somebody out there doesn't have one (that really sucks). Also, to love yourself (ALWAYS!) and be you (straight or not), do what you want to do and be who you really are (inside, out). From what Bill said "We accept the love we think we deserve" (and sometimes we don't know we deserve more) before we can accept that love, we should love our self first and the next thing would be thanking the people dear in our hearts or not, for all the love we received from them.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

I will rant today, tomorrow, forever until I die.

I HATE MY FUCKING, DUMB, STUPID, ANNOYING MR. KNOW-IT-ALL, PSYCHOPATH BOYFRIEND! FUCK HIS LIFE, FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM.

That innocent-looking bitch.

I don't really like you.

I cannot formulate an expression using tangible words from any language that would even begin to express just how much you piss me off.

Oh Summer!

It's summertime. Oh yeah!

IN MY DREAMS! It's Summer CLASS :( A BIG NO-NO. Oh well, as always. So you guys out there, enjoy your summer vacation 'cause others don't have any, just like me. Bummer! Go out and have fun with your loved ones. Go skinny-dipping, diving, surfing... Go crazy! Party hard \m/ 

I do believe.

This!

In this life, there are two things that I would love to believe. One, that there is one soul mate meant for everyone. And two, that I may be good enough to deserve that one person.

Heart to Heart with Nanay.

That calm, peaceful moment when you hug your mom.

Thank you so much Nay for understanding. Thank you for always being there for me, being patient and kind. I will try my best to finish what I've started. I won't let you down. My heart would ache 100x more when yours will. 

Thinking of you.

I love his face.

I love his voice.

I love his eyes.

I love his smile.

Yes, I like him.

But No, I can't have him.

Falling out of love.

But I guess every beginning has its own ending. Maybe this is our goodbye.

I love you. And I'm sorry. I hope you'll meet someone better. That would make me happy. May you find your one true love. :)

I didn't know I have audiences here.

Overwhelmed. Shocked. IDK.

I was trying to keep this blog a secret. And now, I can see I have views here. Lol. Well, I hope those viewers enjoy reading my boring online diary. I'll try to keep this updated as possible.

The One that got away.

I should have told you what you meant to me.

You will always be my "Beloved". I'm constantly missing you.

FVCK YOU COLLEGE!

Yes, College life sucks. Big time.

How I wish to go back in HS, where everything is filled with fun. Less expectations. No frustrations and depressions. Everything is young, wild and free. Puppy love. *sigh* College gave me depression, obsession, anxiety and loneliness. I've got to live with the expectations of my parents. Them, not knowing, I'm breaking into pieces. And I don't even have the slightest idea how to mend myself. I always end up crying before or after I sleep. I don't know what to do. FML 100x.

Reality leaves a lot to the Imagination.

I don't have the courage to face reality, so I get lost in my dreams.

I don't want to be a fancy Computer Scientist, or even a programmer, developer whatsoever. I want to be a Journalist, idk. I want to travel and learn the history of every place I could go. World History, Countries, Languages, it turns me on. I want to work on National Geography or maybe Discovery Channel. That is what I want, I dreamed about. BUT. I have to be, shall I say need to be a Computer jerk/dork/dope, to earn cash. FML. I had started it, and make the most of it. Reality bites. I wish/hope I didn't enrolled in this Hell Course, but there's no other choice. I have to make it big with this industry/career I'm taking up, to earn money, to learn and finance myself to study again for my lost dream. Fuck you Computer Science!

I didn't want to be on my own.

I miss you. It's undeniable.

He stills see the beauty in me and still falls more in love with me after seeing my weird facial expressions, unusual laugh, constant BITCHING, ugly days, pig out days, the way I drool and snore in my sleep, my stupid jokes, the way I ask questions about things I should already know the answers to but he answers them anyway, my obsession with strange things, and my IMMATURITY. I already knew HE is the Guy. I love you.

Oh, Amore. It hurts so bad.

If it's meant to be, It will be.

You know that feeling? When you're just waiting. Waiting for nothing. That feeling of hate and love. Mixed up. Something is wrong. And I guess, something's right either. Should I? I'm tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. I want someone to be here and tell me it's okay. But no one's gonna be here. Yeah right. I have to be strong because no one's gonna fix me. Just me. I'm so pissed off. I just have a lot of feelings.

Happy birthday little brother!

Happy 9th birthday Mak Douglas. We love you!

I am sarcastic. PARANOID. self-conscious. indecisive.

Can't go through life without getting paranoid.

I get so paranoid after everything we did. My mind plays tricks on me and I hate it. I am always on the edge. I don't want to feel this way again. Not now. tomorrow. next week. month. I really can't help it, I think about us always, and think what, if and why. 

Posted TIME.

Not the right time. What the heck blogger? AM? but it's actually PM. Grrr. Pissed off.

Ace.

Though our communication wanes at times of absence, I'm aware of a strength that emanates in the background.

I miss you so much, bestfriend. I'm very sorry. I never stopped trying to be your bestfriend again. I did not lost interest, like I didn't care, but I do care.

Leaving me. Again.

I know you can't stay, but I wish you would. And I hate waiting for the next weekend to have you back.